August 30, 2000

just installed the new livejournal

just installed the new livejournal client!

cant wait to shift here so i can do LOADS more than what i’m doing right now…
sort of pre-occupied right now, i guess. mebbe i’m thinking about the xray report, mebbe i’m thinking of the new story i’ve decided to work on, mebbe i’m wondering about why i’m not able to blog right now, mebbe I’m GETTING LATE!!




August 28, 2000

do we need a god?

i’m finding it increasingly difficult to pretend anymore.

should i say i finally found my freedom??
or should i say i lost my god?




dont i just lllllove surprises!

sanjeev put away his office work for today (for me, for me) and called me over to his house at andheri. i got lost, as usual, reached 45 minutes late, had garrrram-garam coffee at his place, talked to aunty for a while …and then sanjeev and i went, walking, to VERSOVA beach!!!

o boy! i just lllllovve surprises!

the entire day was so unpredictable…i did not for once think of what i’d be doing in the next five minutes!
like…

waking up at 8:30 in the morning (EIGHT-THIRTY!!)

packing my clothes for my new life at nerul

talking to sanjeev’s mom on the phone and later being invited home by sanjeev (hee hee, i’m sure it was she who made him cancel his work-plans)

losing my way and getting off the bus on the other side of andheri on some god-forsaken bridge

getting drenched to the teeth, even before landing up at his place,

receiving another gift!– an ethnic-horse-and-giraffe-and-elephant-on-string-bell that sanjeev got for me from delhi, where he had gone to meet his prospective pop-in-law, anu’s jat-rajput dad (shudder!).

methinx i’m the happiest when its raining, and when I AM the rain! it had been pouring a-l-l the time and i was as wet as ever, the entire day!
tch tch, ceres, it doesnt take much to please you does it?

anywayz, i wonder why, but i never felt like leaving sanjeev’s home today…was it because i havent really “talked” to anyone for over…ummm, eight months now? i’m glad i got this break today. :-)

sometimes there are people who cross our paths just once in a lifetime, and yet leave so much to be said…

i wonder what it is, between sanjeev’s mom and me? i doubt if even she would have a clue about these strong vibes (!!?) i’m really curious, and i also like her so much, though we’ve met just once. and she feels the same too!

aunty thinks perhaps it is some past-birth funda. wow! wish i could fully agree with her!! can it really be…?

am looking forward to meeting her again, and to our looooong chat which we actually scheduled for february 2001, when she’ll come to stay over at my place in nerul.

i wonder where my life would have taken me then?




o darling, yeh hai india!

hyderabad gets flooded because of bad town-planning– 60 lakh people against the “planned” 5 lakh! and just where do the extra 55 lakh go, huh??

two states are held to ransom by a man who is smaller that his moushtache, and this two-dimensional sandalwood smuggler actually manages to get them fighting among themselves too!

two chief ministers try to free an ageing actor from the clutches of an aspiring villian.
supposing the hostage were a common man, would these ministers be even half as much concerned??

times of india splashes its front page with concern about the grand-daughter of the nation-priyanka’s pre-mature labour pains, rather than spare at least a mention about a major gulf air crash, which did not leave a single survivor on board, or off it.

ministers throw their weight around by beating up hospital wards, while rajat sharma of zee news sows very huge and obvious seeds of controversy in the country, with his morcha-tickling poll questions…

o boy, just what is it that i still love about this country?!




August 26, 2000

past imperfect, future, tense

yesterday, i almost lost a good friend.
because i dont know how to say N-O.

congratulations, mr perfect,
you win hands down, once more.
but i’m still smiling :-)




August 24, 2000

i’m listening to dont worry,

i’m listening to dont worry, be happy

its just …so…refreshing!

its simple to be difficult,
so difficult to be simple!




August 22, 2000

yippppeeeeeeee!! arjun’s going to drop

yippppeeeeeeee!! arjun’s going to drop me at thane!!!
with this spine, i dont think i can last many bus rides.

o btw, those bongs…they’re both engaged, thank god!




finally! i get over my blogger’s block!

hey!!
i think this exercise of re-reading my journal is helping me :-)

i can already feel my blogger’s-block wearing off. i made myself a promise that i’ll update my journal each day. and i’m not going to keep it private either.

but methinks i’ll start fresh tomorrow; its getting late now, and knowing me, i’ll go on and on and on…

i cannot resist blogging just some of the highlights of the day though:

1) rajeev finally was online today and we chatted after three whole weeks. god! we chatted twice in five hours – when he was still in office at 9:30 and later when he finally left for home at about 12:30.
btw, he’s about 11 hours behind us, and i just love teasing him about it ;-)

he said he’s postponed his visit to bombay by another two months. but that means he’ll be here only in december!! can’t help wondering if we’ll actually ever get to “talking” when he comes down. he said he’s a capricorn.

but we had an interesting time blaming each other for not keeping in touch, and we did that for 15 minutes! like little kids!!! hmph, and he even called me a villian.

villian?

2) after a long long time, dhaval and i decided to go for a lunch date today. he’s changed so much but he still made me wait for 20 minutes! of course the venue for the highly-awaited session was the jasubhai cafetaria itself!

i realised that if i dont get over my past soon, i’ll lose a good friend like dhaval too ! but i dont want to do that either.

such a tough choice! especially when you have a friend like dhaval who can just see through you and guess what you are going through!!

but hey we had a great time! thanx to the two new bengali babumoshais from network computing who ‘datecrashed’ into us. and since each of them sat on either side of chachu (dhav) and me, we could not ‘talk’ at all! i thought the entire date business was so funny!
and since both of them were bongs (damn i forgot their names again!) i asked them to teach me…the language is so sweet.

i told them i felt bengali was very much like gujarati, and while one of the bongs stared at me as if i’ve offended his mothertongue, the other guy agreed! i was so glad to see that someone actually agreed with what i said and i went on to speak the words i’d learnt from romit about seven-eight months back.

i think it was a good exercise. here’s why:

lunch was over before i had to make any efforts to get-back-on-the-same=wavelength with dhaval (he had scolded me almost to tears a week back, and then he went to south africa, and i couldnt even make up and say sorry, but i wasnt really sorry, was i?).

i got to polish how-much-ever little i knew of bengali, and rekindle my hopes of learning the language and visit calcutta (at least once)

erm, i think i seemed to made an impression on one of the guys ;-)




i’m just going through all

i’m just going through all my previous entries of this journal…51 of them.
all my days in bangalore…

and i just realised how much i miss this journal, and i didnt even know! or is it because i miss writing?




August 19, 2000

mahesh wanted me to blog

mahesh wanted me to blog the rather self-searching-chat-exercise that we had this evening. since there isnt really much i’m saying these days, maybe it isnt a bad idea after all.

so here it is, uncensored (as if that made a difference!)

“…techrose2000: what is your general mood in life?
techrose2000: happy? sad?

ceres_chanakya: now?

techrose2000: no… generally in life
techrose2000: if you take all the highs….
techrose2000: and all the lows…
techrose2000: and average them…
techrose2000: what would it be?

ceres_chanakya: hmmm
ceres_chanakya: tough qtn

techrose2000: I don’t find it so tough…

ceres_chanakya: i think…most of the time…
ceres_chanakya: like now..

techrose2000: My general mood is one of happiness and content

ceres_chanakya: i’m numb
ceres_chanakya: i dont regret anything that has happened so far
ceres_chanakya: that way i think i’m content too
ceres_chanakya: and i like to be happy
ceres_chanakya: i’m more like a spectator watching each day pass by
ceres_chanakya: and my role in it
ceres_chanakya: comfortably numb

techrose2000: copy this and paste it into your journal NOW

ceres_chanakya: what

techrose2000: whatever you typed in just now is such bloggable material

ceres_chanakya: ok then i’ll paste it




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